„What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get so choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she like hers.“
with tears in your eyes you cried
"i’m coming loose at the seams and i scream when i think of you
i’ve got nothing but time, i’m losing my mind so i’m through”
then your face turned blue
last night i saw you in a dream
i’m still unclear as to what it all means
two nights before much of the same
i found you dancing on the back of my brain
the hallucination was pleasant
in my head things were fine
so far from a nightmare
so near to sublime
we kissed and we fought
i laughed and you screamed
i’ve learned to loathe these goddamn visions
but i just can’t wait to fall back to sleep
So this little cigarette right here has sparked a whole new brand of TFiOS hate, much of which is coming from people who claimed to love the book.
Many people are now pointing out how “pretentious” Augustus is, and I can’t help but think, You’re only just now realizing this. He was written to be a seemingly pretentious and arrogant person. The acknowledgement of this is actually highly important because, without it, the book loses the message that a hero’s journey is that of strength to weakness.
Augustus Waters has big dreams for himself. He wants to be known and remembered; he wants to be a hero; he wants to be seen as perfect. But there’s already something standing in his way… He has a disability, and society tells him that a person cannot be both perfect and disabled. So what does he do? He creates a persona for himself. He tries to appear older and wiser than he is. But the pretentious side of him is NOT who he truly is. It’s all an act. (This is evident in the fact that he often uses words in the wrong context.)
And when his cancer returns, we begin to see his mask cracking. The true Augustus begins to bleed through… Hazel even takes notice of this from time to time. And by the time we get to the gas station scene, Augustus is no longer the picture of perfection he was when we met him. The play has been canceled. The actor must reveal himself. And he’s revealed to be a weak, defenseless boy, succumbing to the cancer that is made of him.
THE PRETENTIOUSNESS IS INTENTIONAL. It stands to show Augustus’s journey from flawless to flawed, from strong to weak. It’s the key to understanding that Augustus was the hero he always wanted to be, even if he didn’t realized it.
when someone says “ten years ago” i think about the 90’s not 2003
Disney’s Frozen + Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen
"You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens." - Mandy Hale